Wednesday, November 18, 2009

It's been a while...

I was talking recently with a vintage friend of mine (he's not old...he's vintage), and we were discussing how disposable everything has become. He spoke of a time when our society used and re-used things for long periods of time. If your lawnmower or your toaster or your car broke, you fixed it. You didn't have the luxury of just "going out and buying a new one." Clothes saw use for generations, not just seasons. But as our affluence grew, so did our waste. No longer did we as a society use things until they were used up, we simply got what we wanted out of them and then tossed them aside. It seems to me we have come to do the same thing with each other.

That brings me to my thoughts today. It's been over three months since my last post. A lot has happened, and the last two months have been an interesting journey for me. I have seen people in my life who I cared for step out of my life for reasons still relatively unknown, and I have watched God bring other people, some of whom I wouldn't have expected, to encourage me and reaffirm their opinion of my worth. Now, I know that as a Christ-follower I need only be concerned with the reality that God loves me ridiculously, and His opinion of me is the only one that truly counts. But yet, I also know that God created us in His image, and part of God's nature is that He is relational. Even within the Godhead itself is a three-part relationship among the Father, Son, and Spirit. So knowing that, I realize that it is part of my very being to desire relationship with others. It is part of my nature to want to be valued not only by God, but by other people. And that's why it hurts when I am rejected in whatever way by those who I have spent time investing myself into. It seems like I have reached the end of my usefulness to them, and I am discarded.

But what bothers me about this is less about my own hurts, but more about the reality that it seems that as people we have become more and more disposable to each other. In friendship, marriage, within the context of the church, everywhere it seems. If a point is reached that we no longer benefit each other or that the relationship has become strained, we can cut each other out of our lives and walk away. If we come to the place that we no longer like the way things are being done in our church, no problem, we just simply go find another church. If we decide that we and our spouses are just no longer a good match, we find another relationship to take their places. We have become disposable.

The incredible act of sacrifice that Jesus did on the cross was meant to achieve a Redemption. We often focus on the redemption of man to God. But there is another redemption that was meant to be effected by the cross: the redemption of humankind to each other. Not only did Christ's work on the cross shatter the barrier between man and God, it shattered the barriers that divided mankind from each other. What is interesting is to study how many references there are to peace among men in the New Testament. It's all over the place. In fact, love within the Church is the chief identifying trait. "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35 (ESV)

Unfortunately, just like the sin of pride will place a wedge between us and God, that same pride can destroy our relationships with each other. Which brings us back to my original point. When we regard our relationships as disposable, we are evidencing an arrogance that ignores that part of Christ's work on the cross was to bring peace among men. We refuse to extend grace and forgiveness, and we retain our "right" to anger and hurt. I certainly have been guilty of that. So what do you do when you have attempted to make peace, and there is a rejection? You still have to surrender your heart to peace in spite of the hurt. I am walking that journey right now (you can pray for me in that regard, by the way).

In some cases, there may have to be a severing of the connection, until, prayerfully and hopefully, there may be a time where there is a mutual surrender and a possible restoration. The question we face, however, is are we open to that, should it occur? Are we open to restoration? That is the true test of the desire for peace. Paul writes in Romans 12:18, "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." Does that mean that I try to be everyone's best friend, or that I have an obligation to be best friends with everyone? I don't think so. Sometimes, living at peace requires establishing a distance. But the real issue is one of the heart. I can place distance between myself and another without wishing them ill will. And again, is my heart open to the possibility of relationship, should there be a mutual surrender? I believe this is how we keep our relationships from becoming disposable. But it really requires a full on surrender to the Spirit. It's not in our nature. That's why we HAVE to "put on Christ". It's the only way. The only way to truly love in the Spiritual, "agape" love is to wrap ourselves in the nature of Christ.

He's a master at recycling what we've thrown away, and if we yield ourselves to Him, there is a distinct possibility that those relationships that became disposable to us and to others can be brought back to a place of fruitfulness, testifying to the power of Christ in lives surrendered to Him.

I love you all, and I look so forward to the Day when we can stand in true unity, free from our flesh that divides.

Come soon, Lord!

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